His Friends and Our Friends

“I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master
is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I
have heard from My Father” (John 15:15)

Are Christ’s friends our friends? Not necessarily, and not always. We gather each Sunday at the Divine Liturgy and share the sacred meal offered to us by Him. And we come not as strangers, not even as guests, but as family. It’s why we are commanded to love one another; otherwise it becomes more of a secular gathering than the anticipation of what awaits us all, the grand and glorious Banquet promised in the Kingdom of God.
It seems to me realistically that our friendship develops within the parish from one sacred mystery to another as our communicants progress through life. I’ve often thought: When is the Church not the Church? In other terms, if by Church we mean the community of the faithful rather than an assembly of individuals, many weddings are like that. The bride’s family and friends are unknown to the groom’s, and the choir knows almost none of them. We have ushers in tuxedos who need maps to locate our church escorting down the aisle grandmothers who have been praying there for years. Nearly everyone is following an outline of the service to understand what’s going on, at the same time listening to the priest and choir and wondering when they get to take photographs.

It’s not a criticism, just a fact. We all drive to be together in prayer. Our parishioners live within a thirty-five mile radius, approaching the Church from every direction. The children attend local schools throughout the region, bonding with classmates and neighbors nearby their homes. Besides, most families are intermarried and intermingle with people from other faiths, and often without faith in God. Even within an extended family, weddings will gather relatives from vast distances, meeting relations sometimes for the first time.

Baptisms are an improvement on the aura of unfamiliarity. By then and by the grace of the Holy Spirit the newlyweds have incorporated themselves into the fellowship of the parish. A natural clustering occurs: Unmarrieds mix with the unattached, young couples with others without children, couples with youngsters have common interests, and the various age groups find one another having similar memories of things past.

When, however, one of our communicants passes from life to everlasting life, if she or he is an active participant in the parish, attends worship regularly and takes part in the life of the spiritual community, a great number of the faithful attend either the requiem before burial or the funeral service itself to sing him or her away to the Lord.

Alienation, apartness and isolation are part of the American way of life. Our wealth and the expanse of land makes it possible to marry young and live in one’s own home from the beginning. It’s a luxury and a blessing that the Lord provides us. We have the option of choosing our neighbors and acquaintances. We may decide to make them friends or remain aloof from them.

On the other hand, the Church is the place where the friends of Jesus Christ gather to share His life in us. Our heavenly Father’s question to Cain: “Where is your brother?” is not answered with the sneering cynical retort: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Rather we are pleased to say: “He’s right here beside me. And so is she.” We have shared the cup of Christ. We are indeed responsible for one another’s welfare. His problems are my own. Her worries make me restless. I care deeply for what happens to them. And my love for You, Lord, I will express in my affection for these, Your friends and mine.