“We thank You O Master, Giver of blessings and King of all ages, for breaking down the wall of hostility and restoring peace to Your servants [Names]. Plant Your fear in their hearts and create mutual love between them. Quench all anger, hatred and bitterness; remove all arguments and bad feelings, because You are the Prince of Peace and the Savior of our souls, and to You we attribute glory, to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages. Amen.” (From: Book of Needs, Prayer for reconciling hostilities)
On my shelf are four thick volumes of prayers for special occasions. They are called “Books of Needs.” They include prayers for ewes and cows that cannot give birth, wells that run dry, blessings of fields and barns, but for our times and life styles, other such prayers that may no longer appear relevant. Clearly there may be little call for many of them; however, alienation between persons, families and groups never goes out of style. Yet I’ve never been invited to lift up a prayer of thanksgiving for reconciliation and healing. There are a few reasons that I can think of instinctively:
A. Nowadays the Church and its ministers are not at the center of most people’s lives…at least not as in the past. The very weight of the volumes of those Books of Needs suggests that our spiritual ancestors lived their faith in a way that no longer exists today for many in America. I’m not lamenting this, just making a simple statement of fact. In our country we relegate events to a day of the year: Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, etc. We may think about our parents and those we love the whole year round, but there are other things in our lives that take priority. So too the Church. Few attend the services other than once a week. We commemorate Christ, the Theotokos and saints on weekdays, but not many join us then. It’s a way of life;
B. The above prayer is more than a plea and an expression of gratitude—it’s also a lesson. How can the Prince of Peace rejoice when His spiritual siblings are at war with one another? And how can they call Him ‘Master’ if they have broken the bond of love for each other? Their quibbles and quarrels take precedence over their so-called commitment to His commandment;
C. Following that convoluted logic a sense a fatalism appears. “She’s always been that way” justifies the lack of attempt at healing. “He’s stubborn, just like his father,” so why bother trying to reach out, or come up with some creative way to appeal to his heart and reason;
D. Time itself is fragmented in our culture. We live in an eternal ‘now,’ forgetting the past and ignoring the future. Try reminding a husband and wife that they surely must have been in love at some time past. They don’t want to hear that: “That was then and this is now,” they retort;
E. Finally, our culture is obsessed with self. In plain terms we are a selfish people, and we refuse to apologize for it. Listen to others or better, listen to yourself. How often do you begin with: “I think…I feel…I want….” Here is the cause of the clash of cultures. Not all the world’s population is fixated on the individual’s rights and privileges. This too is not an indictment, merely an observation; however, so much of the fragmentation and suffering that flows from it has its origin in the lopsided emphasis on individual freedoms at the expense of the responsibility we have to family members, friends, and fellow citizens. Their sufferings don’t trouble us, even when we are the cause of it.