“And Thomas called Didymus was not with them when Jesus came” (John 20:24)
It was the nature of St. Thomas to question and confront, not taking anything at face value. When the Lord said to the apostles: “Where I go you know, and the way you know” (John 14:4), Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we don’t know where You are going, how can we know the way?” His temperament was to be a contender and an outsider, yet we are better for his challenges to authority. Otherwise it might appear that our Lord selected only the acquiescent and easily led. Thomas was a brave realist. When Jesus determined to go to Jerusalem, he said: “Let us also go with Him, that we may die with Him.” What Jesus Christ understood to be the singular means of salvation for all humanity and the glory of the Holy Trinity, Thomas envisioned as death.
Following Christ’s crucifixion he was (besides Judas Iscariot, obviously) the only apostle not interested in continuing in the fellowship. The polar opposite in personality is St. John. His joy and pride is to be as near to Jesus as possible. He was in the beginning with St. Andrew, literally on the path of Jesus. He was always there close by the Lord. He was at His breast, as we know from the record of the Last Supper. He alone of the apostles overcame the fear in his heart to be nearby as Christ was crucified.
What is the reason for the difference in nature between the two apostles, Thomas and John? We know little about the background of Thomas, other than he was a Jew, a twin, and most likely he came from Galilee. On the other hand, if one is conditioned to love from being loved by parents, that’s clearly the case with John. In reading the gospels, one cannot help but to notice how he and his brother St. James are intimate friends. John is the companion of Andrew, but the Lord pairs James and John along with St. Peter as an inner core closest to Him throughout the ministry. Their mother Salome appealed on their behalf for Christ to favor her sons (Matthew 20:20). And they are often called the sons of Zebedee, suggesting a warm, loving family relationship. Of course, happy families also can produce the austere sort as well.
A given parish includes all varieties of personality types. The sensible pastor treats those like Thomas with caution. One must be careful with comments and attitudes, realizing that an off-the-cuff remark or unintended observation can be taken in a sense not anticipated. Best be polite and reserved with somebody who is quick to judge.
On the other hand, it’s so easy to love the John variety. They listen and obey; they love and they pray. One can count on them to affirm and support all that is for the welfare of the fellowship and parish. The priest always gains strength from such as they. Christ had several others like John—Mary Magdalene was one, and Mary the sister of Lazarus another. They are precious to God and to His leaders. All of us are by nature creatures who require affection from others. Spiritual growth demands from us times when we are to be alone, and other times when we need the warmth from a family and community. The Zebedee family is a model of mutual affection. St. Peter too was blessed with a mother-in-law who would welcome and serve a meal for his new friends gathered around the Lord. Oh, how grand it would be if every infant brought into this world could be guaranteed an ever-flowing, never-ending source of affection, especially in the formative years. When they are confronted with rejection, cynicism, hostility and even hatred in this confused and confusing society, they can more readily put those negative sensations into perspective, having experienced at least in the past love and affirmation.