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Session 4: Being a Real Friend

Objectives:

By the end of this session participants should be able to . . .

1. list descriptions of true friendship

2. compare true friends to people who just pretend to be our friends

3. recall biblical sayings related to friendship

4. identify traits (not physical) that they want in their friends

Useful Texts:

  • Proverbs 17:17 a friend loves at all times
  • John 15:13 greater love hath no man than this: to lay down his life for his friends
  • Mark 16:1-11
  • Matt: 26:14-16 and 47-50 The betrayal of Judas
  • Matt: 26: 69-75 Peter disowns Jesus

Procedure:

A:Introduction

Print F-R-I-E-N-D-S verticle on a large writing surface. Make the letters large enough and leave room between them for students to write two lines. For each letter, have students think of words or phrases that they think describe a good friend. [Fun to be with it, Reasonable, Interested in me, Easy to talk to, Doesn’t lie, Sensitive] Let students write their suggestions next to the letters.

Then have students brainstorm words or phrases that describe bad friendships.[Fights a lot, Rude, Ignores me, Expects too much, Nasty to people, Doesn’t listen, Sneaky] Have members write these suggestions underneath the others. Compare the two lists.

B: Introduction: Recipe of Friendship

Break students into groups of 4 or 5. Tell students that they will be creating a “recipe of friendship.” Hand out a copies of a basic recipe (chocolate cake, sugar cookies, etc.) or write it out on a large surface. Say, “Using a recipe format like this one, each group is to create a recipe for friendship.”

You may wish to brainstorm and list all the words the group can think of that relate to friendship. [Loving, caring, honest, trust, support, etc.] Encourage groups to be creative. When everyone is finished have each group present their recipe and why they chose the “ingredients” they included.

A&B Discussion: Friends in the Bible

“Who are some people in the Bible who were friends? [Jesus and the apostles; Jesus and Lazarus; Paul, Timothy and Barnabus; King David and Jonathan; etc.] The Bible has a lot to say about friends and friendship. Jesus had friends all kinds of friends. He had friends who betrayed Him, like Judas, friends who disowned Him, like Peter, and friends, like the myrrhbearing women, that stayed with Him even when He was hanging from the cross, died, and was buried.

“What kind of friend do you think Jesus was?” [He forgave everyone who betrayed, disowned, or was bad to Him; He was always there when people needed Him; He challenged people to be the best they could be. He shared His life with people. He was always honest. Etc.]

A & B Activity: Looking for Friends

Bring in a newspaper and explain that newspapers are a resource people use when looking for something they need and where people advertise when they are looking for something. Read a couple of want-ads (for example: for a cars, or roommates, etc.) DO NOT REFER THEM TO PERSONAL ADS as they can often be inappropriate.

Write down the following verses on a large visible surface:

Proverbs 16:28;17:17; 18:24; 27:10

Matt 11:19

John 15:13-14

Each student should have a piece of paper and a pen.

Say, “Using everything we have said so far about friendship and the verses listed, make a want ad that describes the kind of friends you are looking for. Include some of the interests and hobbies you have. Remember that your not looking for physical traits. You should also include the kind of friend you are.”

Have students put their names on the back of their want-ads. If you are doing this with more than one group of kids, post all the want-ads on a bulliten board. Have them look through the ads and choose an ad that they would answer. Have students take their new “friends” to coffee hour or to the next meal at your program.

Conclusion

Friends are very special people. Jesus, himself, was a very close friend of Lazarus and cried when he died. Friendships form during all kinds of situations and no two friendships are the same. However, true friendships do have one thing in common. If we cannot say that love is part of our friendships, if their is no kindness, no patience, no hope, no perseverance, and no trust with our friends, we are simply not real friends. We need friends like Jesus and the myrrhbearers. More importantly, we need to try and be the friends we would want to have.